Mawage is What Brings Us Together Today

As I sit on the 8:25pm flight back to Kansas City, I reflect back to a week ago on August 13^th, 2017. I was feeling particularly vulnerable compared to most days and the pressure of love got the best of me. We were discussing marriage in Sunday school and the questions most non-members ask us.

Some questions included:

“Why do you marry so young?”

“Why don’t you believe in co-habitation before marriage?”

“Why do you get married in the temple?”

“Why so many kids?”

I must admit, I have also pondered these questions. The best answer I can come up with is that it’s a personal choice. The church doesn’t choose when we get married or how many kids we have. In retrospect, we use our freedom of agency, prayer, and counsel with the Lord with decisions we make.

However, it’s always been a big fear of mine that I won’t get married.

I have developed a bad habit in times of doubts or insecurities to turn to knowledgeable friends. But recently, my friends have given me the opposite of advice- rather they’ve turned me to someone much wiser than they will ever be: Heavenly Father.

“I could give you all the encouragement ever, but the best kind comes straight from God. Rinse your face, light a candle or two…put on lotion and fuzzy socks. Turn on worship music and pray, pray, pray. Pray he comes into your thoughts and shows you how valuable you are to Him. That he shows you there’s so many great things that you don’t even know about yet."

Sometimes, I wasn’t so pleased with the advice and told them, “I’m allowed to have worries though.”

Then I’d get back…

“I know, but just because you’re allowed doesn’t mean you have to. What holds you back? Sometimes the biggest push-back is yourself. You have to trust in Heavenly Father’s plan, not your own. As hard as it may be, he knows what’s best for you.”

They were right.

Heavenly Father’s plan is the best plan and with college along the way, it’s been hard to figure out exactly where God wants me. Then the worries come back and I scare myself into thinking that where I go dictates if I have a family or make friends.

It’s my dream to get a major in journalism and a minor in American-Sign Language. Due to lupus and the medicine I’m on, I have a higher chance than most to have children with birth-defects. I believe these skills would help not only have a steady stay at home job, but the abilities to communicate with my kids in a different way. Nothing is more important to me than my family.

During work I had the chance to sit down in the back and read BYU Magazine. The magazine had an article called Audacious Faith written by Brett G, Scharffs, a professor at the BYU Law School, and it really stuck with me what he said.

““I’m a Mormon,” he said, “a member of The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” He paused for a moment and continued: “And I’m a believing and faithful member of my church. I really believe it. I don’t just believe part of it or believe it some of the time. I believe all of it all of the time. It teaches me that we are all created in the image of God and that we are all His children. It teaches me that I have to love and show respect to everyone.” Even myself.

“If we are not fully committed, we will be overcome with doubt or performance anxiety. We can’t be too worried about how we look. If we are fully committed, we will live fully, joyfully, and audaciously. We can dance as if no one is watching.”

“A scholar from Lebanon told me why he though Mormons were going to be so successful in the coming century: “Young Mormons are going to get educations, get married, and have children, while the rest of America is going in a different direction. He probably has an exaggerated sense of how different we are from the rest of the culture, but in the world in which we live, it is actually quite radically counter-cultural to do these rather ordinary-seeming things. In a country in which half of all children are born to single mothers, we can be peculiar people by getting an education, getting and staying married, and having and raising responsible and respectful children. ”

It hit me while reading this that I was doing exactly the opposite. Being fully committed to God doesn’t just mean going to church every Sunday, reading your scriptures, paying your tithing, saying your daily prayers – it’s much more than that. It’s trusting in the Lord in times of doubts and worries and realizing that Heavenly Father is wrapping his arms around you saying, “hey, it’s okay to walk alone,” because you’re never alone. You have HIM and He has a plan for you, you just have to be patient and faithful.

As Disciples of Christ, we must be prepared to stand alone, although we are never really alone. Before I can develop a relationship with someone else, I must develop a firm foundation/relationship with Christ. I have to realize the best love story is the love story right in front of me. The love story of Jesus Christ. 

In Joseph Smith- History 1:25 it says, “…For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God…”

Every time we doubt God or deny His plan, we offend Him. So after reading and developing a new state of mind, I went in to Utah refreshed and ready to allow Heavenly Father to counsel me through the Holy Ghost.

I flew into Salt Lake City where I met my dad. We were all dressed up for my EFY counselor’s wedding, but we had about six hours to do whatever we wanted. We decided to tour around the Salt Lake City temple to pass the time. Our first stop was the Visitor Centers (there’s two).  In one of them, I was able to talk to four Sister missionaries. My dad told them how I teach the Elder missionaries a lesson every time they come over and the Sister missionaries asked me to teach them a lesson! It was so nerve wracking and caught me off guard.

I shared with them a quote from Gordon B. Hinckley that said, “Though my work may be menial, though my contribution may be small, I can perform it with dignity and offer it with unselfishness. My talents may not be great, but I can use them to bless the lives of others… The goodness of the world in which we live is the accumulated goodness of many small and seemingly inconsequential acts.”

I explained to them that in 1 Nephi 16 it says, “Small means the Lord can bring great things.” Serving a mission doesn’t always been teaching a lesson, rather it means help the community you are put in. It means asking random people in their yards if they need any help or just talking to a curious teenager who LOVES Sister missionaries. You can touch the hearts of many with seemingly, minimal acts that could mean a whole lot to someone else. (Acts 20: 35 – “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”)

My dad and I then had time to go to the General Conference Center where we met a nice woman by the name of Sister Campbell. We had a nice conversation about my college search and how she’d love to have me over for meals. She has a missionary son who’s in Italy and will be getting back next May. I can only imagine what it’s like to be a Missionary mom. I had a strong prompting to share a verse I read earlier that day in Alma.

Alma 17: 12-13

12 And it came to pass that the hearts of the sons of Mosiah, and also those who were with them, took courage to go forth unto the Lamanities to declare unto them the word of God.

13 And it came to pass when they had arrived in the borders of the land of the Lamanities, that they separated themselves and departed one from another, trusting in the Lord that they should meet again at the close of their harvest; for they supposed that great was the work which they had undertaken.

I know without a doubt that the work her and her son are doing is far greater than anything and when it does come time to meet again- the angels will sing from on high of the work that took place during that time.

She gave me a huge hug and thanked me.

After, it was about time for Marissa’s wedding. It was kind of crazy, because right before Marissa was about to walk out of the temple, about five EFY counselors randomly showed up with no idea her wedding was going on. (Talk about B-L-E-S-S-I-N-G-S) When she walked out, she smiled so big when she saw me and gave me the biggest hug- I couldn’t help but cry of joy.

Her reception was beautiful. It was in the mountains and took place near this pond. There was food, lights, and romantic music playing. My dad and I kept getting really weird looks from people because no one knew who we were- we were just the random Missourians- it was hilarious! Best part was, this random Missourian caught the bouquet! Guess I’m getting married after all…but not for a while of course.

The next day, we toured BYU. I thought maybe I’d get a feeling of yes or no, but honestly- I felt nothing. I hoped then that USU would be better, but it was the exact same feeling. Both are great schools with pros and cons and I came to the conclusion that is no school better than the other. There are multiple good paths that Heavenly Father lets us choose to take and both can have good impacts on us in different ways. I have decided to hold of the choosing until February when I get my decline or acceptance letters from the BYUs.

We also got to visit the Missionary Training Center (MTC.) Usually the public isn’t allowed into the MTC, but the church recently remodeled and added on to it. It was an experience I will never forget. It was like a blast from the past for my dad, especially since the Japanese missionaries happened to be the missionaries guiding the tour. My dad kept asking them where they were serving in Japanese and some knew how to answer and others were just confused- you could tell they were brand-new.

Something also very special was the fact my dad was able to enter the MTC with me. He will be the only family member that will ever enter the MTC with me.

After, my dad and I climbed the Y in Provo, Utah. It was a 1.2 mile up and down. When you looked up it didn’t look so hard, but once we started- it became progressively harder. The hills reminded me of trials, but once we got to the top- the view was beautiful. It was worth all the pain; it was worth enduring.

Sunday was my last day. By the end of Sunday, my dad and I were able to see 12 temples and I learned the importance of trusting in the Lord.

The best advice came from a street sign that read ‘Y Worry Ln’ and now, I hope to live by it a little easier.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Ephesians 5:25

I would like to end with one of my favorite primary songs,

Families Can be Together Forever-

1. I have a fam’ly here on earth.

They are so good to me.

I want to share my life with them through all eternity.

Fam’lies can be together forever

Through Heav’nly Father’s plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

2. While I am in my early years,

I’ll prepare most carefully,

So I can marry in God’s temple for eternity.

Fam’lies can be together forever

Through Heav’nly Father’s plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.